Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
