He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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