Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
