this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i used baking grease as lip gloss
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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