just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
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I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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