Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
