It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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