If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
