9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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