Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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