hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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