Small penises have feelings too.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
