took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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