Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
