he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
This couple is walking their pig around campus
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize