I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
you never un-have a 4some
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
