my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
