I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
