i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
