How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
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I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
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I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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