i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
