Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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