I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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