wake up i wanna do it froggy style
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
