Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
