so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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