Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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