As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
