Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
