Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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