I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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