he shaved USA in his pubs
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
