Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
youre lurking in front of me
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Did we literally take a cab across the street
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
