when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
