Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Randomize
