you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
