Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize