she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
