I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
