Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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