Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
