redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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