This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
