It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
