please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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