omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
