Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You brought string cheese to the strip club
The power of my boobs compel you
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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