Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
