It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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