Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Randomize
