So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
