So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
