the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
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