I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Randomize
