I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
