hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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