Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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