my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
