I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Just high enough for therapy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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