You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
