i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
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