you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i think i have two assholes
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
