At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
ttyl tear gas
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
