So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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